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From left, Anthony Palmeri, Kory Fogarty, Cyrus Baker, and Mike Giaconia of the Red Jacket boys varsity basketball team wear shirts that say "Bring Em Back", on front, and "Miles", on the back, before their game against Harley-Allendale, in reference to the head coach being let go.
By Charlie Paradise.
Another day, another succesful and tough head coach run out of town by an angry mother. The parents that use my broker phone technique of going over a controller's head that isn't interested in what I'm selling, it works. These parents of a suspended player go right to the SuperIntendant. What an awful lesson. The kid platys and they fire the coach. If it didn't just happen to my own high school basketball coach, an amazing coach and man to say the least I wouldn't be so charged. The comments under this article are bountiful to say the least. Here's why the parents are WRONG.
Please read this article in toto first.
Here's the deal, the parent makes a comment at the end of the article and talks about 1 dumb mistake, he's just a kid and should not have his memories robbed. Does this sound familar? Does this resonate with you? Because that's the argument, and it's the only argument. And here's why this is exactly the wrong response however understandable. And as always I will make this point digging out a story of my past.
Briefly: I was 14, on a bikepath with a couple buddies. Blonde girl jogs past us, 1 of said Buddy's grabs her between the legs for a moment in time she jogged past. Also this was a girl that had them kicked off the town bus just the day before. She had been violated, she fell, cried and jogged to the police station as we walked back to my house. That evening I was summoned to the police station, they spoke of a rape charge, and when I went to my usual and only denial defense, I became privvy to a new term, Guilt By Assocation.
The thought I could be in grave trouble having done nothing inappropriate was a shock to my system. And my father had been warning me about it already for years. Guilt by association. Fast forward: 2009, I get a call from an attorney asking me about this incident on a Lexington bikepath back in the spring of 1991, how crazy is that? Said buddy was unable to bring his new born baby back from South America, they were not yet married, and even today remains marrerd in litigation missing all those "firsts" trying to his girl and daughter back in the country. The reason? Sexual offender. So I asked the attorney, we were kids! I thought Juvanile records were sealed?!
His response, "Not when it comes to immigration issues they're not." And I just couldn't believe it. I sat stunned because all's I could hear was my father's voice so many years ago, "Don't be an asshole." "watch out who you hang out with." "one bad decision today could fuck up your whole life."
And it's so true. 17 years ago, and it came back. The past never goes away. Ok, this head coach had a rule in place, go to a party with booze and be suspended for a game. The kid violated it, got caught, you miss a game. He got caught. And these rules are in place because kids are stupid, stupid accidents happen, kids are vulnrable and all's it takes is one night, one wrong moment in the wrong place, at the wrong time. Without the lessons stemming from the consequences of breaking the rules we do a disservice to our future. Sure you could forgive it and spit in the face of the young dead seldomly brought up in these conversations. It sucks you missed a game, and it sucks it was the playoff's, tournament time. But also you violated a rule, a team rule, you knew it, broke it and got caught. Just like the coach said in the article, the SuperIntendant should not even been involved in that conversation between player and coach.
And that's an instrumental teaching device. A team code. It keeps the others in line when a consequence is handed down after an infrastructure of team code. You know why it's good? Because there are rules, so many rules, life does not get easier, there are no excuses to your boss, calls from mother to bosses when the other kid got handed the big account because you missed a day sleeping in a heavy hangover. The past never goes away, and same for the rules. Childhood is fraught with potholes. Kids need discipline and respect, and it still might not be enough. The bottom line is you are a kid, and that's why there are rules. There are consequences to everything you do, the choices you make today shape tomorrow, it's as true as it is cliche. It's not about fair, it's about life. This kid, and this kid's mom really stink the room today here at GDD. Childhood is serious business and must be treated as such if you hope to not only come out of it, but also make a meaningful contribution to your family and country, a country that needs it but increasingly with these types of stories will be more and more devoid of this critical spice when boiled and caught gives birth to captains and leaders. The last point for the mother is that all your are doing here is putting an enormity of importance on a basketball game. It's not the right lesson and these trophy parents can't have it both ways. ******************************************************************************************* I recently attended a Lexington Basketball game and the magic was gone, 45 years down the drain. They played zone, and if you don't know, you don't know.
i think the more you pay in property taxes the more the parents can cry themselves the end result they seek. In our case if Coach farias of lexington had spent his 30 year career teaching and coaching in a less to do, a tougher town, say, Waltham, they;'d have built a statue of the man.
Money is a funny thing, and stories like this drive down property values weather the bulbble you live in allows you to understand this or not. You know in 1988, Coach farias sacrificed a state title and chucked 3 kids off an amazing, amazing squad that year. And he could'ev kept them obn, and they would've won, but he had old school principals. And it was back then, and the kids in question had been in trouble, and guess what? There houses didn't have 3 car garages.
I will bring to light the travesty of Lexington, the only remaining fabric of the old world of lexington basketball, the last man standing was 50/50 raffle man, harry laye, and he was recovering from a stroke, in a wheelchair. God, it was nice to reflect and sad to look up.
The crowd was empty, the gym was cold, you read that? The gym was cold. GDD has been on hiatus spening the last 100 hours in an editing studio making our movie, which documeted an end of an era....
Stay tuned, and never, ever, rat on your friends.
What no one realizes here is that the kids, ultimately are running the show, exuding more power than ever, in an America clearly slipping off it's high's. We must realize this, we must get tough again.
We 're doing our part, please stay here for updates, and we'll give you the heads up for the limited opening back in Boston as we quickly approach this summer.