Tuesday, December 06, 2011

Back When They Put Illmatic Shit in Cereal Boxes



God Dam, kids will never understand what we had as five year olds back in the 80's. And for kids it was a decade when so much classic shit hit He-Man, WWF, Thundercats, GI Joe, Silverhawks (what??!!) and the super sugar cereal craze was no exception. Mainstream Cereal like the society and times it came with went crack. And beyond the merit's of a Saturday morning in the 80's, when network television was king, and the rest of the day you were outside, you had your sugar cereal Sat morning. All highlight's and on Saturday morning you knew your home was more functional than dysfunctional (dysfunctional house you eat that shit everyday) if you got to get your paws in the off limit's box. The Saturday morning box, Lucky Charms, Coco Puffs, Count Chocula (the crack of the crack and his crack cousin Blue Berry) and this was a keg party for an eight year old.

And the cartoons, oh the cartoons and I was up early. I started 6:30 AM with Hannah Barbara world of Super adventures. This was a medley of cartoon greats and warmed the pallet for the spastic energy that would be ushered in with the frenzied action of the WWF starting at 11.


Plus we thought wrestling was real! There were so many choices over so many years getting to the WWF, channel 4, 5 and 7 it was March madness every Sat AM, pure paradise. I had Disney's the gummy bears 9AM, CHANNEL 4, had heathcliff and Garfield teamning up for a power hour on the He-Man / She - Ra tip. I'd get local and plug the NKOTB cartoon on 7 before hitting up Hulk Hogan's rockin wresletling to wet the pallet for the live action that would peak my adreneline. Sometimes I would favor Superstars, Bo Jackson and Wayne Gretsky teaming up to foil crime if I felt I was alerady getting my WWF fill.

I'd suck down a box of the fruity, praise the end milk like Allah in the kingdom. That end milk, pebble / sugar combo, wow and, AND to top the entire extravaganza off, I'd get a gift at the end of the box. When only the pure sugar was left to chug.

And even when I was in the 6th grade I was still into matchbox cars, maybe a little late, not for me, I'd been keeping stats on fictional races on the kitchen tile floor for years. And sometimes I'd find a mustang, hot wheels all black with dat chrome inside the mutha fucka, high on Fruity Pebble milk in the middle of the WWF, 3-2-1, tilt! Action: Run head first into wall (mother hears loud noise, enters room) and sometimes, say summer crush when she was little in the 80's would find, PEZ functioning dispensers. And not just any PEZ dispensers, dispensers crafted and emblazoned in the title characters of the sugar feast of which you heaped. These cereals were big and Sat AM audience critical to sales amongst increased flexibility which weekends manufactured within your typical home. The characters were the best! You were coo coo for Co Co Puff's, of course Lucky Charms were found at the end of the candy rainbow from our sugary Leprechaun.

Saturday morning is still my favorite time slot of the week, 35 years old, I'm naturally more hyper than at any other point of the week which can be scary. But usually wildly entertaining to my wife. it's where I test new dance moves in accordance with my updated physical limits.

And so any nostalgia is just that, as you always must remember 1 lesson, the best time is now, now, now. And it's always been like that from the very first moment of time on earth. But this is so dope ultra slinkdafied items worth the covet. A PEZ Christmas tree we have, as always, what's remarkable is summer stash's full collection prob 100 deep. And out of all, the cereal box characters are my favorite, hands down against some giant’s (Vadar, Hulk, Han Solo, Teenage Mutant, Bart Simpson) it’s quite a collection. And the cereal box guys were manufactured a little different to the collector / insane eye. Its amazing - exquisite attention to detail entailing slightly different functioning. Anything to get you hooked on that shit, don't pretzel it son and think for one momento Cheerio's was putting prizes like this inside, no way doctor.

What a partnership cause we already know from the candy empire story carried recently on GDD, PEZ was meth or maybe it was the other way around. In any event it's hilarious to me, I'd never let my kid eat this shit. Maybe just on Sat mornings... enjoy, remember, put your tree up early if you get down like that to maximize December X-Mas enjoyment. And decorate it exclusively (for the most part) with something you used to collect.

Our dopest tree - how many characters can u name?

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