Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Turkey Bowl 05

And once again as seasonal winds gust and twist leaves to bust into orange and red plush, vivacious, courageous gratification instantaneous! yes fans Turkey is back for its 11th rendition. Already a fire storm of controversy has been ignited by Turkeys usual lightning rode and T.O., Carl Easton he has informed us he's only to be referred to as C-Rat. Making many an off the field comment recently he shuns critics and doesn't seem to want to open up any further issues he's barked about recently.

"Look I'm focused on the game right now, I want a W, I've let my fans down these last two years, ringless." Glazing over game time climate, favorite routes, magic, end zone dancing, I want to entice him in his fist live interview since the controversy, as a reporter I can't let this boil over. So I engage him -

"Look I don't want to talk about the Hatfield stuff, that was off the field personal obviously he's not a factor on game day so that's it." I haven't had the chance to sit down with Easton in quite sometime what used to be my favorite interview has diminished like many others. I need a spark so I twist the gist of the conversation to reflection of Turkeys past, the early years, Santo and Hayden. This as I thought it would seems to spark a point of reflection in my old buddy.

"Yeah I think the game has changed a bit. You know with the glitter, charity, fans, kegs and everything else it certainly has changed just like all sports in general." When probed what he misses most what been lost and gained he becomes a bit more insightful,

"You know I think now its not so much the game as much as its a testament to a group of would be legends that have stuck together. Through the nit and the grit been through some ill shit, you know what I'm sayen? So for me the game was always the best, it was the game that kept me writing and in the gym and I just think now its become commercialized. You know cats that ain't founding fathers getting outrageous with shit that you know, I mean we all done put this together but obviously certain dudes pull more weight and that's just how shit shakes out."

Obviously I've hit a spot in this first exclusive since the blood bath and I don't want to stifle.

"So for me, you know mad off the field problems and everything else I'm really going to try to take it back to the game to the grit. You know like Hank Shuman, hes been running in these showdowns before it was even a league, I'm talken straight 12, 13 years old- so you know he being so down and old school just sprung from the joint, I'm goen really enjoy being out there on the field with Hank. You know because he was an original soldier cat that kept us in the press and was always balling, hitting kids, scrapping, looking out for us, UNLV, having our back, thats what the shit is about. So for a guy like that comen back, you know I'm reading all this movie shit and everything else and no one mentions my man, so its just reminds me how shit has changed, people grown up, families, money, jobs and shit but for me its not about any of that. Its about keeping my crew together, hoping they can be the best people they can be and for one afternoon take it back to ground level Shawshak style."

There was something mesmerizing in his words atop the roof of the Hotel Washington in DC and listening to him speak I couldn't help but think peering down at his emerald cufflinks that he did OK too. Having covered Turkeys since the early nineties I sensed urgency, anger and hope in his voice. Listening to his stream of consciousness I too remembered for a second what this was all about. Having seen a decline in so much of the Turkey reporting I knew my old friend c-rat would cook up summer in the winter once again. Plus I think him dedicating his Turkey again to his Godfather and to Hank Shumans triumphant return and prayer for sobriety is fitting. In my eyes no matter what they say, who he's burned and his always changing public view I putting my money on C-Rat, whatever team hes on and thank him sincerely for all of his early efforts in keeping this event going and helping his small bit to transmogrify this circus into the star studded media frenzy it is today.

See you Saturday, it should be interesting. Welcome back Hank.

Friday, November 11, 2005

I'm Dying To Get Sued

Greetings ladies and gentlemen how’s everybody out there this evening? Writing this live and direct in the early AM from So Ho where Summer C will c and end to her life as we know it in NYC. For the time being. All in all you have to say it was a pretty successful sprint they had out here in the big apple in the short two years they had to make something happen out of the gates.

For me I’ll always look back at the years designing lingerie here in NY with a poignant fondness, I’ll miss the shows; make up, models and Flirtinis. A great spot on E a week ago, Britney gracing the cover of US weekly in a crush original well if I wasn’t such a hot topic myself I’d be overwhelmed with an acute sadness, scared to let something so hip and self serving to me go away into the dusty recesses of ones noggin.

Counting endless interviews, magazine spots, shows, press you name it one doesn’t need the late Johnny Cochran (my jigga) to make a case that these girls have some momentum as they turn the next page in their young (24 years) dynamic careers. She’s leaving it all to start her own thing, the only way to roll.

Just like JQ who was once signed by the legendary Jim Steinman (the brains behind Meatloaf) to a multi album deal to Ravenous records back in the day, cool, totally, I mean your signed to a label to rap at twenty two years old but yet and still way up in your grill it was C-Rat always pushing that capitalistic drill into your grill. Sure they gave my boy 10K signing bonus that was a gone in a month as he flew ASAP to Amsterdam to celebrate with Pete Nice but at the end of the day what do you really have?

”I create nothing I own.” Gordon Gecko.

So Q brothers was launched and shit is getting there. Sure a little more leg work up front for a windfall of profits going forward.

“I’m working now so I can chill later on lampen in the shade with some fly gators on.” Guru.

Especially in rap it’s the one genre where artists were slaves. Record labels ran back plantation 1800 slavery on 80’s rap acts. The above mentioned Guru and my top shelf no dust homey the legend known as Preem are probably along with Tribe Called Quest the most visible examples of groups that made trillions and ended up with very little comparatively.

Of course JZ and Dame Dash flipped the script on that shit and gave birth to the hustler’s anthem, prayer, religion and blue print.

“I’m taking em all back.” Mouth Goonies.

Of course they have their fame, name out of the hood but no Ranges certainly not a fleet. Of course its OK because no one is starving, GangStarr finally finished their 20 plus album deal with Virgin or whatever and no one is mad skinny. But shit you watch some of these cats that have done so much less for the rap game both intrinsically as well as from an evolutionary standpoint on cribs and it makes me want to go grab my nine. Of course I can’t even drive so I certainly shouldn’t have guns around the apartment. I only once fired a glock nineteen and it kick backed into my face and nearly knocked me out. I was moving them through a guy in the neighborhood and thought I should test the product I was selling aspiring to be the best salesman possible.

Note to readers, note to kids. Selling glock nineteen’s is bad – plus they are mad expensive.

So JQ starts on label, summer starts own company and as I finish my first novel, well I’ll give that shit up to anyone that wants to give me a cent for it. But I’m different so don’t compare me to another.

Disclaimer being that I might heed my own advice of tactics and do the shit as well as the soundtrack myself. Gorilla dunk Productions.

Which brings me to my next point, I’m dying to get sued, I mean not just anyone from the crew but an up and comer. They used to say on the floor of the Chicago Board of Trade that any press was good press – they also used to say if you asked them for change for a twenty that a twenty is change. And of course my favorite put the guns and cocaine away the hookers are here!

Jeez what jerks, who wants to scare the hookers away? Me of course cause I could never even in the face of everybody around me doing it get down with a trick. The cocaine wasn’t so easily avoided. I’m so hyper that whenever I’m out in the center of the universe chick-a-ties will always roll up on the kid and be like,

“oh my god I just totally want what you have. Can I have what you have, is it a pill?” It’s a gift of being so happy after having died so many times at a young age; I’m mad happy, bottom line.

Anything is possible if soldiers deem it possible. Ooooooooh almost freestyle tangent but hey it’s Veterans Day! To our troops bring them home! Republicans really have the best gig in the world and for the life of me I can’t figure out while I’m still not one. They have all the money and are the driving force behind support of wars that nobody attached to them has to go and fight

what a gig!

“Just send the negros out there god dam I don’t want no Muslim flying a plane into my business, go get em negros.” Some rich white hick that does not know dick about the game.

“Why is everything about race with you?” You’ll have to wait for the book.

Anyway being sued when trying to get exposure is the best thing ever. No not as good as Somanan (sp?) Girl Scout cookies but it be some a-ight shit.

My new band has a blog that I’ll lace you wit next time I don’t know what it is and am mad unorganized all which bodes well for the book. If I was mad neurotic I think my artistic capability would be limited.

Now day off and a few questions linger, day drinking with Magic and Monster, how aggressive will it get? I do NOT want to be a puddle by the time summer gets back with me after her 6th to last day at the undy gig. However these things don’t choose us and besides I’m a raging alcoholic with the lineage and proof of genes to prove it.

Two weeks from Sunday will be my debut performance of something to Ponder, original act, songs, etc. One of our cuts is called I forgot to take my Ritalin and in it all of this bad shit happens to us.

my freestyle raps are getting ridiculous.

Quite simply because I have so much god dam stuff to say.

Uncle Clayt you live on with me especially in NYC.

You’re never fully dressed without a smile.

K-Dawg and C-Note you are beginning an incredible journey as very impressive indivduals.

Been off the BLOG

SORRY.

Friday, October 07, 2005

A Mind Shift

Note: This was suppossed to barring tech difficulties to appear before "a breath and a pulse." If you want the chronological read then read this after it's predecessor.

A Mind Shift.

A change in perspective, a shift in direction, a twist into the Jedi ways one always covets to capture. A realization of a bigger equation but above all else a revelation, you can never take yourself too seriously. It was the epidemic that I always thought money to be, heightened narcissist illusions of ones importance to the world based on monetary worth to be exact. (Brief staged cough) anyway,

You can never take yourself too seriously. Which brings us to laughs, bubble baths recess pieces studded candy paths and wraths of that bug we all have in our stomachs.

OK lets Chantilly lace the laughs.

George Bush continues to fall dramatically in the polls.

“Yo I thought you said you were Chantillying a chuckle.”

”I forgot to take my Ritalin”

The laughs, the crafts the smiles that make white kids say that’s a “dial” urge me to keep the rank and file and focus positive as I sprinkle a little Chris cringle. A miracle is possible if soldiers deem it plausible when we realized we legends is when we crushed that which was colossal. A fossil? Yes want to be “ig” all the fame and celebrity cause a mind shift like john Legend a lift to holla at life and slow down a wee lil bit……….

take a breath. That’s the shit

I took a breath.

“Slow down your moving too fast you got to make the moment last.” Simon & Garfunkel

Speaking of taking a step back I must dutifully report in my estimation the overall grade for my overall family is dope..

“The state of the union is strong.” What every single sitting president will spit at the state of the union address regardless of whatever happened to be going down when he spit his spot.

Retarded maybe but I will tell you,

“Since I have joined these men I have seen shit that will turn you white. Winston – Ghostbusters.

Anyway just a meager and quick experiment in the annals of the poverty that is my language.

“Self deprecation will get you into law school.” Uncle Clayt

holla at the book! If this thing is anything it’s been a major absence. The red Sox and patriot double summer fall slam has been a brick wall in my personal scheduling. With few resources but brand new fall banana republic pin striped pants I forge ahead. Silently breathlessly I bid you five thousand.

To random script that someone might read. I praise it’s soul and of course……..


The family on every angle is trading very close to all time highs.


Next Blog on a streak.

For my dear Red Sox faithful, for my blood, my heritage, lineage and soul, well tonight in my stomach an ultimate freight. On my soul its tragic might well it weighs on me. In my soul breaths are contractions and they lead TO LIVE FACTIONS WHERE I KNOW innately who the ruler done be. Sports I treasure, a critical game my heart and athletics is my pleasure however a hedge is prudent ‘I don’t think you’ll do it.’

This is my blog and I want to make it beautiful, dutiful I must forge ahead and thrust every opinion that’s suitable and fruit able OJ to me was irrefutable but I was a champion of his acquittal. Because it was exposed the pitiful truth about race and how we can’t displace facts about rizz-ace wipe you out without a trizz-ace and being of that dark color I must verbally lace

and face a crime of how an era of slime got twisted right or wrong please just sever warped jurisdiction and wrong that was wronged it’s not right OJ Simpson killed a bitch that night he should’ve been locked for life.

It’s not supposed to make sense because the people that feel it they have that real scent that no matter how society is going to judge me I’m going to always be that bright thinker I see within me in lives like a wild beast inside of me.

Picking it up the pieces when they all fall down, whose going to be there day care everywhere so much to tackle on the ground is where I want to be strive to see the gifts in me and spread that shit out deliberately and “ig” all the rest to be the best before thirty is part of the story stupid.

Book three and as the Jedi in my own life long trilogy I’m always fascinated with how it will all end? Cause it hasn’t ended and the trilogy ends when I finish the first book. So every moment that grinds by and flashes past is book three which is happening right now.

My fare friend gently I bid you peace out – comforting like the inn on the five star paradox tip.


Big white house scandal developing – did you think this Karl rove thing as earlier reported here on this blog was just going to flail away?

Indictments soon to be handed down possibly indicting many white house staff and officials. Maybe just more muck at a time when we need all the muck we can get.

No more politcken / just want to sing and keep the breeze.

Be easy.

dream

Thursday, September 15, 2005

"Politicken"

Ok - preface - true story I'm at Kinkos - that's the heart of this blog. Truth is that my book has gone through three computers one of which I lost - long story. Anyway when I blow up I'm def going to have hot computer. My latest piece of shit crashed/fried no more on line. Word as always still works - anyway still writing - book good. Peep the latest entry

Politicken –

I’ve earned it like Egon deserved the candy bar in Ghostbusters. I’ve earned it because I’ve just orange summer crushed the book for two hours. Leading me past X-Mas and into January as I’m just about into the spring of Freshman year and making progress dear Watson.

Sure my back hurts, sure my fingers are tired sure I took work off yesterday due to zilla like tendencies and sure,

I have panic attacks.

Especially the day after drinking one after the next after the next from eight AM to a little past eleven, c-ya.

Today life is good on the hood carton tip not the ghetto.

Let’s strip it down,

Politcken –

The illest thing I ever wrote.

“Let’s pretend for a minute that I don’t anything about science.” Dr. Peter Venkman

Earlier this month I learned what GOP stands for. I must say I was surprised then tickled, putrefied finally transmogrified in a terrible fatal way. The GRAND OLD PARTY well it’s not for everyone. IN fact it’s barely for anyone.

Let’s look at New Orleans. Three items for FEMA terror attack in New York, earth quake in San Fran a flood (everyone knew New Orleans was a bowl, like third grade trivia) and New Orleans cat 5 flood. First off politicks is a game and it’s a grand old party. These educated men spewing the idealism and heroic prose of Edmund Burke are smart chaps ABSOLUTELY. Until of course they start getting defensive, covering asses and trying to hold onto their power like slave owners.

These guys knew New Orleans was vulnerable, 911 tapes out tonight they’re fun. I myself not one for meteorology watched weather channel for days before.

“Look at the size of that thing.” Red 2 approaching the Death Star.

So we knew it was coming and for hundred plus years warnings have been issued rooted in the bare naked fact that it’s below sea level –

IT’S BELOW SEA LEVEL!!!!!!! – again a first grade fact.

My beef comes with the race; my beef is yes, the race card. Yes, race, race, race, race.

“Pay like you owe us for all the years that you hold us, money talk now so talk Hova.” JZ on H to the izzo.

Johnny Cochran is dead and someone has to carry the torch. It was the Deep South, Bush didn’t even think too hard about it until he HAD to recognize. It was day four and Dick finally had to get his ass out of bed. I mean he was on vacation and this administration becomes funnier and funnier. Is it a race issue or an economic issue? I can hear some smart ass GOP member say this to me smoking a cigar that doesn’t even contain any chronic.

Well fuck face did we fight the civil war for states rights or because of slavery? One is a function of the next and when discussing the real issues labels and functions are attempts of deflection and at the very essence of Politcken. Making something out of nothing. Is it economic issue yes. Is it a slavery issue yes. Is it a black deep south who gives a fuck on the time to kill tip, yes. Dopes or should I say does George Bush hate black people, maybe not hate but he doesn’t care for them much.

“”The storm didn’t discriminate.” President Bush

Yeah we know that George but you sure the hell did. On vacation if this was TEXAS, ah! You not it to be true search your feelings, feel the fire against the frost of my fingers as I wax and floss address this holocaust I’m threw with my silence.

If this was San Fran federal aid would’ve been there that night. It’s absolutely astonishing the back peddling we’re doing. It’s absolutely astonishing that federal aid came (JUST SHOT OUT A CHUCKLE STILL IN DISBELIEF) four days later. Yet day two they could get fats domino off his roof. How could they get fats out on helicopter and not fly military ones to the superdome. The images were black that’s why and for those of you who would ever want to step, you just don’t know.

You’ve never had a homey shot, a family member jailed for some off shit; never know what it’s like to struggle. You’ve never had a black friend get shot in die on the heels of your white best friend die and one paper covers and tributes and one while the other is tucked on page 48C. Just noting a young black male being shot by another. Police are looking for a black dude in baggy jeans that likes Big daddy Kane.

Even though they’re both sixteen year old children they don’t mention the black kids name or his age.

“And believe me it hurts to see the boy you broke bread with six feet in the dirt.” Scarface – Ghetto Boys.

Why does that happen? Because we’re desensitized to it – a rich white kid never gets shot, black kids always do their ancestors were slaves so the who the fuck cares. Everyone knows this is the deal with American media.

“media feeden ya pullen dirty tricks just for kicks I would trade all my fantasy picks unmerciful pricks stand away and don’t breath abolish you all in one breath and scream” -Some me just thought of shit

That’s what this was poor southern niggas that lost everything. The worst part about is that there’s nothing you can do. The people that voted for George Bush don’t know many black people, it’s a fact and it’s funny how many accepted truths we fight when “Politcken”

It’s true and I love Howard Dean for shoveling it all. Notice how they stopped calling refugees? FOX news loved saying that like Blue Horseshoe loved Endicott Steel. That was my first problem – I even had to look it refugee because it just didn’t register with me. I had a handle and solid understanding of what a refugee was I thought. Why did they call them that? What the fuck is wrong with FOX news? They are tax paying citizens. Watch lean on me and holla back at Joe Clark a hero like John Brown of this crafty cat chilling straight from the fridge daddy-o.

“Learn how to think ahead so I fight with my pen” 2-Pac.

Oh boy Dan Quayle really had an issue with Pac. Lot of other problems Dan at the time it’s OK to let go of Happy Days as the world has turned and the country as we ALWAYS KNEW IT WILL PERPETUALLY Changes. Our forefathers knew this and how far from just a straight smart level we’ve deviated from acumen when listening to our current commander in chief.

FEMA oh yeah Bush cut almost half of federal dollars designed to protect and have new Orleans better prepared for this fighting that good old war on terror. If you’re reading (and they’re not many of you) you might have said this in your best good old boy accent. See Osamma Bin Laden saved the world if it happened on Bill Clintons watch. The world including the Chinese who won’t float their currency for us are laughing at our Sophomoric struggles.

“Feel the momentum swing from me to you.” Kid dissing Play in House Party freestyle. One of the all time great movie scenes.

If on Clintons watch

We would’ve cleaned up Afghan – got Bin Laden neutralized as well as Taliban and stifled Al Queda. Look at what Bush has done. The sad part about Americans is that they don’t read the paper anymore and if they do it’s definitely only what they want to read.

If you read the Washington Post thoroughly two Sundays ago you would’ve seen a great article on a reporter just back from Iraq delineating the myriad exact similarities between this and Vietnam. Using specific examples on both it was extradionary to see it for what it is. Even the valiant father that took his sons name off of the mom’s shrine to fallen heroes in Iraq outside of Crawford ranch doesn’t really have any idea what he’s talking about. I doubt he knew what a shite or Sunni was or the cultural nuances that heavily separated and defined the two weathered ethnicities. The GDP never understood the history there and that’s why no one knows what we’re doing. Weapons of Mass Destruction? Then Bush at the annual press conference for the press he pokes fun of it trying to find one under his shoe. Kids are dying – shit ain’t funny to me but then again I didn’t grow up with family money.

Now the guy that took his sons name off of that shrine was probably just a good old boy that really bought into that American Dream supporting his country regardless of the indignation and arrogance that surrounds presently there every step.

What’s most baffling to me in this self proclaimed “information” age is how bad George Bush is at speaking especially in crisis of course off the cuff would never happens. It’s really as if a mentally retarded farting frat boy that was the black sheep of a rich family is running this country. If you heard the reference and kidney punch to Tom or Parker we’ll call him about drinking too much in Houston certain nights when addressing the disaster on ground there for the first time, well it was abhorrent. He was laughing, chuckling keeping it of course LIGHT, LIGHT, LIGHT. Even two feet of deeper waters is too much for him to handle while the city was drowning. Four days later, race, race, race.

It’s a black thing and the Republican Party has a tactful extinguishing way it deals with the poor the black. These are the people they want to detain with new authority to profile because of terror. These are the people that want to rob with there tax breaks for the rich. Keep them down with this unequal perception which relates directly to a four day waiting period for federal relief. Getting the prez off of vacation when America has some many skeletons. Has drawn such international scorn – there is no real social mobility in America. You can make it in entertainment but you can’t create a dynasty. The system is now designed to work against you just to protect the white interests of the grand old party.

“Flip flop.” The two words G Bush said to every question that was asked of him during the four televised presidential debates.

“And what exactly are the benefits of privatizing social security.”

“Flip flop” hahaha – another awful idea for the record straight.

It’s sad to me. I’ll take on all of these political commentators. Ask real questions and you know what I don’t stutter and am an animal with a knack for tact and not.

And for those of you still right wingers out there bleeding with pride about this super power.

Indian and China –yeah sport. Huge trade deficit, China owns seventy seventy percent of our debt! That means our federal bonds ass hole, yeah. Bush has put the budget in an enormous deficit America schooling continues to lag further and further behind the Chinese as well as India. Where in a war we can’t win. The supreme court is being changed in ways that might really turn back the clock in an internet age of change. Oil, whatever you could go on and on. All for the grand old party – all because he won an election that he really lost. Alls because he preyed upon the fears of the many Ms. Cunningham’s out there – because he could, permanent tax breaks all to protect that grand old party. Light a cigar pal you’ll be happy to know sport the white people are still winning massively, dial it. Four fucking days I’d give my life to get him out of office all for MY country. Cause guess what Tom on the uncle tip it’s my country too, still, always even though it doesn’t feel like it lately.

In other news I’m back and don’t want my rap name to be relapse anymore. Also let it be noted that my father was a republican for life like his father and father’s father – OK. Also let the record reflect that I was in the young Republicans party as a young freshman in high school. I was watching Wall Street over and over again as a kid and just wanted to fuck people. Actual market people informed me to study business and vote republican and you’d be way on your way to being a lasting part of that happy go lucky country club scotch drinking grand old party. Me fingers hurt and my back aches after a grueling day of fast markets, this, writing, well, my back hurts OK?

See I love my country only because of the diversification. Bush is tearing it apart. Inner city crime is back to the mid eighties just like the Reagan era. That’s the reality of trickle down economics it’s a spin that sells. They ain’t no trickle. We’re now in two wars abroad as well, that we can’t win.

And all of the gin joints all of the bad luck in the world. He steals the election and then 9-11 – un – fucking – believable.

Hey don’t get mad no one reads this and besides I was just Politcken.

Be easy – pray for all of us – pray for this country. Impeach Bush now for a neglect to protect this country. How you like that one right wing, Mr. terrors – guys that run on safety and homeland security – yeah look at the mess you’ve created home and abroad you fucking missile hard on's. All of this to make a country safer and alls you’ve done is put as much more in harms way. 9-11 is nothing unless we clap back against EVIL BUSH.

c-ya

Dream

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Nothing Daily About This Gorrilla

Nothing daily about gorilla dunk as of late I’ve been in the lab, writing and creating and I can earnestly say its coming together. I got the crew I need to bleed this right make it so tight not leave one detail or oversight. Excite yes that’s me since I landed years ago in DC alls I wanted was my story to be heard, to learn from my burns and discern what you can laughing all the way. And the soundtrack, there goes the hood.

I have for the first time in this process actual goals that keep me writing on track and focused. I forgot to take my Ritalin this AM.

Anyway I hope to finish the entire re-write of Freshman year by Sep 1st. For those of you who don’t know this book covers my high school career. The first chunk is me actually emerging out of Junior High, intro’ing the family and some other get started shit.

Anyway Sep I want to crush Sophomore year, Oct Junior year and November Senior year – difficult and aggressive timetable but I’m into it.

With my tripod of editors reviewing each grade after I’ve finished it will take me a week or so to review notes and make changes. So around holidays after another month of polishing etc I’d like to think I’m ready for an actual editor or maybe just set to shop it.

Legendes


Playing in your summer dreams

Not that I be putten in work

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Peter B.

Freestyle writing

This is my gift on the nightly you can sift through my words catch my drift as I insist anyone can write and be bliss – to me it’s so easy to write words so breezy keep it freezey and holla at everyone’s strife that might be reading this,

my life….


Today another slay as a kid I grew up with met his dismay , he was only thirty and yup I barely knew him but played little league and all my dawgs including me we knew him.

Today to learn he got snipped off some cancer make a brother like me question how we can’t find an answer? He was a rocket scientist on the literal flying to space probably the only place to find that cancer miracle that’s empirical and will cure all cancerous ills my gift is faith and to this day it still gives me chills to conquer that which ills – I read his dads blog and sogged with tears, fuck. Life is so hard on a jigga

My whole heart seeps out to another one lost. He was a rocket scientist for Lockheed Martin whose recent duty before he got sick was to lace the trajectory diagram of Discovery’s lift. And I barely knew him but I grew up with him and I made a career making fun of so many kids including his ass. Humbling at best to think of an ass like me in the face of such stress and bless to him, Peter Bellini, gods salt so legendary

the very best.


Even though my blog had recently enjoyed its tenth hit and no one that reads this will ever mean shit I holla.

A father, husband son and brother I just wanted to spit to you tonight. I never knew your struggle or your fight but a real American when none exist was the doctrine or party that you honed your sight – not a cheesy type of thing for I remember you and your dad as crystal as my first spring.

I guess I’m just sorry and pray for your family as I sadden myself over your children that will never get to know the type of man you became, upheld and swelled with your pursuit of knowledge and appropriate humor.

Rest in Peace - holla at Pac
2 U –

1


c-rat

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

ADD'S Finest

ADD’s finest.

Ok, the tonights brief topic; the dick doctor at your annual physical. Always interesting in the first place especially when your doctor is a middle aged slim women who asks prior to ignition if a college female med school student can perform my check up under the auspices of her immediate follow up. Her name was Daniella and she was vibrant, cute packing the parlay of industry knowledge and of course handsome bed side manners.

I was to be her first patient ever. I congratulated her immediately. Her first ever victim happens to be the dream and this is humorous for a number of reasons first and most obvious is my lengthy medical history. I mean the lawnmower and car accident were bad enough but when they get hit with an ADHD and gout combination I can sense even the trained proffesional battle the impulse to naturally busrt laughing over the notion of,” who is this fucking guy.”

Of course then comes the question that I learned a long time ago you always answer no to. Now for the guy who coined the phrase lying to your therapists like cheating at solitaire this was a profound development.

Question: Do you do drugs?

No

Do you drink?

No

Question: Do you ever experience a loss of hearing?

Me: Well my roommate Pete Nice thinks I’m deaf.

“Can you not hear him?”

I don’t know but I seem to hear everybody else.

OK, well again Carl all of these questions I’m asking our all meant in the chronic sense.

I know that’s typically when I can’t hear.

A look of all-in confusion plates her face as I jump back in and tell her my favorite question she’s at some point going to ask on the protocol tip.

So sex, women, men or both?

That one always makes me laugh. Especially when it’s a monotone teacher in Beuller style with zero personality who when speaks you can feel kryptonite attacking your own frosty coolness.

As her first ever crack at the show continued I fell asleep twice because it was early and alls I wanted to do was sleep with hundreds of pillows around me for another thirty maybe thirty-five minutes.

The strangeness and thrust of this piece is when my primary care physician came in to check the students work, ask me questions and perform how it was originally pitched…..

my testicle examination.

My friends and I from childhood all went to the same dick doctor slash iconic Dr. Palent. We to this day joke that twice when under nude questioning my best friend Magic saw his jimmy go noon. And that’s how rumors get started.

So anyway when I agreed to the student holleren at my health my doctor Jacoby said that, “don’t worry I’ll be back for the testicular check.”

Was she inferring something? Too much clouded a clock to hawk or jock any other thoughts besides how tired I was and how happy I was with myself for attending my now annual physical check in. Sensing a wonderful first experience for her girl intern she Dr. Jacoby basked in the sunshine that was chilling early AM in that room. Confident and proud she jumped started Daniella'scareer. “Deanna can you handle the testicle check?”

Within under a second of Deanna’s verbal commitment my khakis had dropped effortlessly to the ground in stunning efficiency no undies. Dr. Jacoby looked at me briefly and sideways like Eddie Murphy looked at the camera when Mortamor said the analgoy about the bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich. Anyway Dr. Jacoby started juggling first and together they were both teaching and being taught. So funny, very serious doctors talking professionally while juggling my nuts. Serious banter, back and forth, good questions about things I was unaware I packed, real education and even a little humor. Anyway short one tonight but I’ll be black a with a slice tomorrow night and maybe a Pepsi. That shit was just incredibly funny to me. As a last act Dr. Jacobi in all of her grandiose of doing something without effort swiftly penned my gorilla fill long lasting mad milligram tablets of Ritalin, king. Ritalin is king. Finally the eagle has landed. I promptly hugged her and was dust.

Been off the script tip – Boston, NYC this weekend, summer, summer, happy hours and classic everyday shit has colluded recently to keep me away from that day when I can finally say,


Yo I finished that shit.

Goen back to title town is always good for Legendes. So isn’t my own maturity, focus and desire.

The characters are coming more alive in my head and the humor is flowing. I know what I have to say.



1 love,

top shelf no dust,

B breezy

c-rat

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Blogging, Carrie Bradshaw, Masculinity and Market Corrections

Recently being hoisted into this blog world on the local tip has inspired the thrust of this entry. I’m stressed out and vent through passionate keyboard strikes.

Out last night with my new DC blog world and in conjunction with pent up stress I explored some of my contemporaries’ websites, blogs and recent entries to see what others used these forums for.

“As many as the stars” Kevin Costner telling Indian dude that when asked how many white people he was expecting to come over to their land.

Don’t even get me started on white people. I must focus.

“Control, you must learn control” Yoda

So that’s the deal with the blogs? As many as the stars one day, however can one differentiate?

Again this is not a diary rather a tool to continually hone me in to the art that has replaced basketball and massages my stress. At the end of the day basketball just like writing more than anything is an outlet.

Number 1 regarding blogs: Allot of Carrie Bradshaw wanna bee’s out there. Listen sex in the city has passed; they’ve already done that series and writing a Sex & the City esque blog is like buying E-Toys in late two thousand. Not to say this multitude of social critique, dating and men are from mars women Venus shit doesn’t hold merit it’s just a bit boring -2- me. Again it’s already been done.

That of course has nothing to do with the pizza crust of my crease. If your creased your perturbed and right now even though the sizzling heat wave has laxed it’s grip and dropped the thermo twenty degrees I’m angry.

What was alarming to me reading through these many blogs about girls, guys, dating and the many proverbial what ifs, continual questioning of the rules was something awful. Something terrible has raised its head at the Yale club. This man is worse than a thief.

Clawing through the infinite responses that these obviously popular female forums provided were a litany of male responses that disgusted me which brings me to my next point, market corrections.

I saw too many male responses that were A) reading this and B) publicly responding. But C) too often too many men to serve what purpose I don’t know would echo female sentiments when giving their two (I’m working the 2’s!) sense. I saw way too much of guys have feelings too. Way too many examples of self proclamation of being dorky and having feelings. Now dork as a word is almost as hot as bananas three months ago (note: if you still say bananas after Gwen’s track, you’re played) but that’s the thing, guys don’t say it. Carrie Bradshaw yes, Terrell Owens, no.

It was so unbelievable it got me thinking about this recent market trend of metro sexualism and me as the original doing way too much to propagate before it got big and now as it stands today not enough to narrow the gap, market corrections.

Don’t get me wrong in some senses I was the original metro sexual, raised essentially by three girls and two mothers male influences were scarce. What’s funny is that any of these “dork”or “sensitive” guys, I would run the gambit on if a conversation ever came up about oh shall we say General Hospital. Frisco, Felicia, Tony Tanya and Luke and Laura there are few girls in the world that can exceed my General Hospital knowledge from the nineteen eighties. Having such a strong and impeccable foundation in conjunction with the nature of soaps I could watch it tomorrow and still have a vague yet thorough understanding of what the fuck was going on in Port Charles. I was an ABC kid through and through so don’t sleep on my All My Children and One Life To Live knowledge as well. Sonny from GH in the late eighties was Nikko a sassy club owner on All My Children. I could go on forever and love the Mary J track were she loops the As the World Turns riff. I think that’s right although it could be guiding light or Ryan’s Hope.

My sister was a nasty singles figure skater and I again know more than your average female about axels, towallies, toe and triple loop jumps. Katarena Witt was second only to Cindy Mancini in regards to the first time my Jimmy went high noon. I got my first manicure and massage with gambling profits from my book operation as a junior in high school and was light years ahead of the pink explosion, quite simply because I rocked it for so long that when it exploded I was there. Pink cuff links and pink Kango colluding with slick banter and never stuttering, ah! Rat pack, motif, ADD, holla.

What I’m trying to say is that I’m part female, I’ve always have been and will continue to be me.

But it’s flowing out of me now after my readings this afternoon, the shit has gone too far and the environment and world as we no it are primed for a market correction.

To the dork fellas with “feelings” hey we all have them but don’t talk about them publicly, be a man not a faggot. This trend is over and be hip to the fact that it sucks being the last on the deal team. I’m helping you out, be a man not a faggot, girls will like you better, trust me. Now the tee hungers out there might sweat the impulse to lambaste me over my use of the dreaded F word. To my gay brothers and sisters all love, soon you will be all legally married and to this day you are the funniest most bizarre and caring group of cat I’ve ever broke bread with.

When I say faggot I’m referring to these god dam cock sucking metrosexuals. It’s over and the only reason this correction is happening quicker than you might think is because it has become absurd. My mother once started a screenplay in the early nineties and the treatment went like this –

The year is 2085 and the whole world is gay.

I lost it right there – and to think she was kind of on point judging solely on heavy recent market trends.

And I’ll still get my nails done as always with the Harlem 1923 clear polish. I’ll still astonish crowds with my gall and impetus to dance like its 1999!

“Just love Prince” Vivian – Pretty Women.

Guys for the love of god, with the country at war and the threat of terror pervading our domestic sands inching closer by the day I urge you to take your penises back! Their yours, and you don’t have to have girth to be big and or have a sack

“It takes a village to raise a child.” Hillary Clinton

Bull shit Hillary all’s that it takes is a set of balls and my male brethren needs to take it back like Mouth in Gonnies underneath the wishing well.

“I’m taken em all back.” Mouth

And for those of you wondering who the hell this kid is ……

“Take me back to town, you’ll find out pretty fast.” Pony Boy the Outsiders.

This blog shit is wonderful. I’ll always take weed heads over violent drunks, tree huggers that like their chronic over the ignorant drunk with a temper and I’ll always take a writer over any other form of expression and that’s just me.

That’s discounting freestyle rap of course. I’m not going to tease and muse you about the crew and recent rat pack developments, nope – no one deserves this until we get this shit straight. Gay is gay word is bond, 1. However dudes need to clap back at themselves.

“You better check yourself before you wreck yourself.” Ice Cube.

Shit has gone too far and typically that’s when Yoda himself (Alan Greenspan) predicts corrections. One might say metrosexuals as of late have behaved with an “irrational exuberance”

I’m here to check that. Quite simply because I’m allowed to. I’m not some good old boy watching dukes of hazards re-runs flying confederate flags talken bout “lychen them faggots.” I’m a white /black brother raised by girls schooled an ABC daytime dynamite totally down with the masterful art of figure skating. I get my nails done, cry all of the time and know what a banana clip is, eighties and am not against blasting back street boy, I want it that way, tell me why!!!!!!!!!

However, I’m true to my dawgs and will floss that which needs to be wetted. If you don’t follow than put down the drowning of dorkenss and cop some early Ghetto boys and within that rap super group fiend some interest in all of Mr. Scarfaces solo works.

That’s it – no book tonight. I have a flight tomorrow to the hub and a happy hour after work which is usually black out central on the twilight zone tip. We’re brokers and traders and that’s how happy hours play out in that world. Having spent the last ten years strictly in Boston, New York, Chicago, Honolulu and LA
I can earnestly say this is the not the first (I shall not be so presumptuous in an information age) but a part of the greater whole instigating this market correction. I wish we could trade this shit.

Don’t be that dude. One to all though and write, blog out,

“oh my god like I can’t believe howfat Britney is”

she’s pregnant asshole. – mimicking that suburban snotty, clueless OHMY GOD voice is a pastime hobby. However go to the Apple that’s mega big these days and you’ll hear plenty of dude’s yappen like that.

Go grab Gangstarr and instead of Calgone let DJ. Premiere take you away.

I apologize for the hiatus but it’s hard to imagine what my life is like from a personal day to day, ADD panic horrible slash magnificent slash MANIC perspective. For my audience not to reveal any more Sons of Liberty, Legendes but I’ll Chantilly you (remember that means lace) with a favorite poem that I wrote on my twenty first birthday that was spent in a rehabilitation center after a horrific accident that nearly took my life (again) and humbled me eternally while also officially stripping me of my captain status for my senior year basketball campaign at Curry College in Milton MA. It was so hard because I’ve never felt better about myself when decreed as a captain but I was coming off a semester in Hawaii and I had collectively turned into Jim Morrison, not good.

From my hospital bed in a body cast.

It is today that I realized that I’m not a captain
Unable to conform to recognized leader standards

Just a fresh breath of air am I, for a captain’s sacred lung
Floating anonymously watching my song slowly being sung
Identifying personal shortcomings, humbling at best

Forgive me dear mother and father for I’m no better than the rest

Weaknesses arise as pressures surmount
Captain’s draw strength from pressure

Where we all captains once upon a day?
Has passing time slowly sifted most away?

It is to heaven that I turn to find my place
I give my world to the lord of heavens grace
You have given me breath, as long as I’m here
I will brunt the struggles until my purpose becomes clear

Our lord grants to some long aging life
Time is Wisdom

As time goes by, one day I’ll see
All of the captains that have surrounded me

A moment of clarity…..

Mom always told me not to be stubborn

Cee – 5/22/98

Monday, July 18, 2005

Inagural dunkage

Mon PM.

With little fanfare and only Pete-Nice outside smoking his token Marbolo Light after a little after work hash toke, well so begins the mobb of blogg, the shit of crap and my next theraputic experiment. I feel Doogie Houser MD at the end of an episode. Pete - Nice's exit and subsequent shutting of my rooms door signals time to lighting type. I type in some ways metophorically to how I live. With smashing disregard to protocol or tradition I type effectively and in a timely manner using whatg I have left. Many times such in life I have to go back over what I did or wrote. It's because I type rapidly and never look at the monitor. Sometimes in life I run through the options,impuslively choose without first addressing the consequences. At work peers would stop dumbfounded the first time they watched me rip keyboards with a focused celerity.

Today.... today was wonderful, manic Mondays are typically the worst and today was OK. The almost four hour train ride in the pouring rain back to Washington DC from the big apple proved bearable thanks in small part to the New York Times Sunday edition tethered to a slew of my own analogies and realizations reagarding my endless love affair with Amtrack railroad and their employees.

Yesterday riding Amtrack along with it's almost always courtesy staff sparked off a sensation of being transported back to nineteen seventy three. Put it this way if you had access to the Dolorian time machine from Back to the Future and wound up on that train minus the laptops and other give away the era gidgets you would say early seventies 4 sho. This goes first to the semblance, logos and general decoration Amtrak still pumps. It hasn't changed since the early seventies so right there atmosphoricall.

Snap your fingers pray to Steven Spielberg and, imagine!

It's as if the class of seventy three, high school kids that didn't target college were all hired to the same railroad. Thirty five years later they have simply not left. The styles of speech and mannerisms fueled partly by the fact that the food and beverage menu screams early seventies give this time warp quite a spring in your summer travel. That the entire enterprise has become a beacon of mishandling, mis managment and embarresment weighs nothing on my judgement. At least the calls to privatize the railroads along with everything else have had that neo-conservative air taken out the their sails, briefly. Enron bought the railroad as well as social security more minutes. However in America a country in which we race to forget the past, timetables of remeberence and how they relate to social legislation are never fixed or precendented items. I had to briefly use the forum of Amtrak to take a swipe at the real origins of Enron. It wasn't Kenneth Lay but the lawmakers that dismantled and undressed the nations energy markets to be raped by right wing whores and their self guiding / fulfilling economic manifest destinies. I should know, I'm a currency broker.

BORF - cool story dawg, much respect to being Batman for a second. Art is everywhere and you've been remembered.

Republicans last week came out and apoligized to black minority voters for not reaching out to them more throughout American history. I guess they just figured their interests in proffesional oppresion, tax breaks for the rich, the scaling back of welfare and racial profiling to name a few might have been a tough sell.

So train ride good, Jurrasic park type rain the whole way! and Amtrak of course in line with the motif had MAD rain leaks. We made OK time but on a Sunday regardelss of season these days that's a victory. New York is amazing and extra dope lately because my endless summer just moved from Brooklyn to So Ho, plus she designs womens lingerie. It's not easy leaving that mecca anymore and coming back to the slow yet fascinating charm of life in Washington DC.

I marinated over a some hash and discussed the weekends of my fellow roomattes. Crazy weekends in the mselves, my roommate the jigga man got to where the Red Sox championship ring at a privare function in Brookline MA. and Pete Nice got to carry his girl home after she blacked out on her birthday. I got to walk in the East village earlySat AM and see twenty foot long snakes on shoulders, doo wop groups, a young Malcom X, arts of bodies and buildings.

I reniged on my no drinking on the train promise to self on drug related charges. Travel days for have as long as can be remebered been like most others, get faded days. It's just in my blood plus I'm quite a rationalizer. Not too bad as funds disappeared girl in Aruba style, this economic reality hamered my Budweiser efforts. They will take a credit card but not debit card, this is what the guy actually told me. Greasy geri curls by the way, bald on the top, cheap gold everywhere. He hadn't liked me from the jump. Amazing to conjure as more often than not I dazzle hired help. He was further creased the first time I asked and was without my ticket which I had left on my seat. ADD plays a big part in this Blog. The device they use to run the credit/debit cards is from the early seventies. Nothing to plug in straight rural gas stations is where you'd find an attendant run the physical card over whatever the word I'm looking for there is. Plus it took some effort and I believe he geniunely didn't want to be bothered. Also I felt judging everything else aforementioned in this piece that Amtrak has probably seen a few dead cards people hustle for food and drink. Since as in most of their devices there is nothing to plug in verification of a dead card is not plausable. He'd been burned before and maybe conjured up conculsions about me.

So just a few beers. I had Pete-Nices small wooden bowl with me full of Denk from my last stop at Magics. I took it from Pete withoutasking and left it at Summers a couple of weeks back,lasttime i rolled 2 NY. With no lighter I was content to read, write, stricklty obersve Amtrak nuances and attempt for seconds to sleep.

I close with the Bangles cause every Mon I wish it was a Sunday just like the song says. Jogging rescues me from many of the worlds ailments that plague me. Broke from NY but forever bullish on heart - Monday was OK. The $ was flat and Karl Rove has the makings of Watergate. Absolute power corrupts absoltely, a watergate quote but thinking how this administration based and thriving on fear came into office right before thatfatal day in our recent history. With a republican whitehouse and congress, oil zilla from Texas got real big dick willy with those ninety percent popularity ratingsfollowing the attacks. They designed a war and felt they were untouchable under the auspicesof what they believed was a doctrine imume from real discussion. Steam rolled a war plan and lied. Who really wants to have an ethics discussion. This is our ethics president, gimmea break. Sellcrazy some where els, all stocked up here.

So Rove,something for the left to get enamored over. There's much there but it's also potent and still very powerful white house.

2 everyone crushing Tuesday and living. Softball behind the white house tomorrow at seven. My companies team is 0-4,Pete Nice is the manager,our pitcher smokes in warm up's and for all intensive reasons we view like the bad news bears.

I have a good feeling about tomorrows contest.

running is key.

Love you Reggie

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

test 1

and so it begins